I
need to talk about my loss. I may often
need
to tell you what happened or may
ask you why it happened. Each time I
discuss my loss, I am helping myself
face the reality of the death of my loved
one.
I
need to know that you care about me.
I need to feel your touch, your hugs.
I need you just to be with me. (And I
need to be with you.) I need to know
you believe in me and in my ability to
get through my grief in my own way. (And
in my own time.)
Please
don't judge me now or think that I'm
behaving strangely. Remember I am grieving.
I may even be in shock. I may feel afraid.
I may feel deep rage. I may even feel
guilty. But above all, I hurt. I am experiencing
a pain unlike any I've ever felt before.
Don't
worry if you think I'm getting better
and then suddenly I seem to slip backward.
Grief makes me behave this way at times.
And please don't tell me you know how
I feel, or that it's time for me to get
on with my life. (I am probably already
saying this to myself.) What I need now
is time to grieve and to recover.
Most
of all, thank you for being my friend.
Thank you for your patience. Thank you
for caring. Thank you for helping, for
understanding. Thank you for praying
for me. "And remember, in the days
or years ahead, after your loss when
you need me as I have needed you - I
will understand. And then I will come
and be with you.
